Finals Week Review (Now 98% less saturated fluff!)

Last week was kind of a blur. So I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you the abridged version, the slimmed-down, polished-up, new packaging, Can't Believe its not Butter, batteries-not-included, portable version of last week.

So here it is:

Stuff happened.
Things occured.
Events took place.

The End.

If you would like further information we strongly encourage you to upgrade your Review model with some of our fantastic expansion packs, with added features not included in the standard model such as...

...the Never-Ending Reading Passages feature, which recounts the assignment where we had to locate the longest piece of quality writing we could find in any of the books we have hitherto read and bore our fellow classmates with it for as long as possible (okay maybe it was only 2-3 minutes, and just seemed worse toward the end when people like me presented)

...the Substitue Teacher package, which details the rise to power of the great Ms. Sullivan, who it is said took the reins of the AP Lit class that Friday during the absence of Ms. Hillestad

...the Golden Lines upgrade, which describes our scouring of the book Siddartha for meaningful and powerful quotes (which basically involved closing one's eyes and stabbing randomly at the text of any page in the book)

...the Class Did Nothing expansion, which includes how Friday the class did nothing. Just for a change of pace.

All these upgrades can be purchased separately and at a reasonable price at any of your local convenience stores, for a 35 second trial period. For anything longer than 35 seconds, prices will become most decidedly UNreasonable. The price for a permanent upgrade package is your firstborn.

Disclaimer: We cannot be held accountable for wildly innacurate, or dangerously entertaining AP Lit Reviews. That's Ms. Hillestad's fault for putting Josh Blanco at the helm of a class blog.